I ran into a parishioner the other day and she commented that she loved to read my blogs. She must be an extremely patient person, as I have been lax at posting anything to my blog for several months. I don’t have the discipline or drive to be a constant poster to the blogosphere. But I do enjoy sharing and I have witnessed how my mini-sermons have had a positive impact on some, so I keep on trying.
Whenever I start to pick on myself for not posting enough, I tend to take the position: Who would want to read anyting I write? I’m not special; I’m not going to change someone’s life by my writing. And then I remember – It’s not about me! It’s about allowing God to work through me.
There’s a parallel to the way I write songs. Again, I question my ability and influence and write lyrics and chords for my own pleasure and distraction with the best intentions of posting them and performing them at some time. But I’m slow to complete a song. My perfectionistic tendencies make me want to work and re-work (and re-re-work) a song until I get it “right”. The lyrics have to relay the right message. The chorus has to have a good hook. The chord progressions have to be pleasing and inviting. But then I remember that I am merely an amateur, writing what is on my mind and in my heart. And if that has all been placed there by God, then that’s enough.
My latest attempt at song writing is an example of this turmoil I put myself through. The re-worked title is “Holy Spirit, Come.” The song came to me over several years and is influenced by a prayer attributed to St. Ignatius Prayer (Suscipe – “Take, Lord, and receive all my liberty, my memory, my understanding and my entire will …”). It is a song of abandonment, of inviting the Holy Spirit to take all control and to shape and mold me as God wishes. I have written and re-written this song several times over the years. Here is the most recent version:
Holy Spirit, Come
Holy Spirit, come, reign over me.
Open up my eyes to see your majesty.
Speak to my heart. Dwell within my soul.
Let your grace reign down on me, and flow through me.
Holy Spirit, come.
Spirit of God, come to me;
You alone stir up my soul.
Wisdom of God, transform me.
Come and take control.
Help to make your wounded servant whole.
Holy Spirit, come …
Light of the world, shine through me.
Let me be your light in the world.
Send me your love and grace, Lord.
Though I’m weak and poor,
Flood my heart, I’ll want for nothing more.
Holy Spirit, come …
Take my life and all I am.
Shape and form me in your hands.
Come, meet me where I am and lead me
to a life that never ends.
Holy Spirit, come …
So, the challenge is in the trusting and letting go – allowing someone else to take the lead in life. The reward is great – eternal life with God.
I pray that today, as you read these words, you allow the Holy Spirit to stir up your soul and flood you with abundant graces. We don’t have to be perfect to be loved, we just have to be willing to try.
Be at peace and know that you are loved.
Deacon Dan
Copyright (c) Deacon Dan Donnelly. All Rights Reserved.
Deacon Dan Donnelly 